I was pushing my cart as fast as I could walk to get out of the craziness at Target last Thursday night. My two children it toe, it had been a day. I waited as patiently as I could as the lady in front of me was buying an abnormal amount of cream cheese. My children literally asked for everything in the line from magazines to ring pops, all of which I gave a very stern “NO”. Finally, it was my turn. The cashier caught the fact that I was a little flustered. Target trips with a 3 year old and 6 year old without daddy sometimes push me over the edge. We had just dropped Eddie at the airport for business in another city and I knew the weekend would be long without him.
I tried to police the children while putting all of my things on the rolling counter as the cashier began checking me out. She asked with a chuckle, “How are you, today.” I gave an honest sigh and said, “Fine, daddy is out of town” and chuckled myself. Her response I have thought about these 7 days later. She said, “Daddies out of town? I used to through parties when my husband was out of town. My kids and I would have so much fun when he was gone.” I completely stopped and tried not to let the moment be too awkward, but forgetting myself trying to process what she had just said, made for an uncomfortable silence. Sensing the weirdness of the moment she added, “But I wasn’t in love with him.” I gave an awkward smile, and finished paying for my things. As I was loading the bags in the cart, she looked at me and said, “I am sorry,” knowing I didn’t share the same sentiment as she had with her husband. As we walked away, she made a comment to the lady behind her and they both laughed loudly as if to mock the fact that I was going to miss Eddie…..
I walked to the car troubled. Not because of the comment, but because I remember thinking that same thing in my previous marriage. The cashier’s comments took me to a place in my history that I haven’t allowed myself to go in a long time. I have been blessed with a second chance at a life that over a decade ago I only dreamed of. I remember the loneliness that that time period brought. I remember what sin had caused….sin began the relationship and the tie was to strong to break it when it was needed. Sexual sin reeked havoc on a girl that just desperately wanted to be loved. Because of this, in the beginning and in the end I suffered severe rejection and consequence.
Sex is everywhere. I know that sex in the wrong context can damage a person for the rest of there lives. I’m living that truth. Sex is the one way that satan can take a regular person and turn them to a person who lives a double life. Double lives in the Christian world are more prevalent than one would think. What is happening when women get their sex fix from the book Fifty shades of Grey and not their own husbands? I have seen girls lose there innocence at ages that would make you spirit cry, I have counseled with mothers who’s daughters have been molested and don’t know what to do. I have cried with rape victims who desperately are searching for an answer to their anger and purpose for their hurt. I have sat and loved on young women that are searching out homosexuality as a need to be accepted, and in my spirit I cry out to my God, Help. I have seen horrific pain brought on by pornography.
It’s crazy to me the… Pornography is widely accepted. Nudity is not even questioned in movies. Sexting and provocative pictures on facebook and twitter is laughed at….and there I sit in counseling rooms of young women that are red-faced and desperate wanting so bad someone to deliver hope.
And we wonder what we can do to help…
The answer lies in the most laughed at patronized, scrutinized, idea, but it is the answer, because it is God’s answer, it’s ABSTAIN.
Abstinence was where I got my start in public speaking. Some liked the idea of waiting until you are married to have sex, but most of the world makes fun of you and thinks you are a freak.
Let me challenge you if you have been bullied because of your belief in abstinence. Don’t give in. One day if you wait until you are married to have sex or share your body sexually with your spouse, you will be able to live and not worry about the consequences that sex WILL bring. God will bless your marriage, He will bless your choice to stand up for something that is so difficult to say no to, and you will become the counselor to your peers who decide not to wait. Mark my words….God’s way ALWAYS BRINGS BLESSING.
1 Thessalonians 4:3-6
3 For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; 4 that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, 5 not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God; 6 and that no man transgress and defraud his brother in the matter because the Lord is the avenger in all these things, just as we also told you before and solemnly warned you.
Let me camp on verse 3. Sexual immorality is a long term that means sexual things. It is an inclusive word that covers the whole sexual realm. I think sometimes we think that to Abstain just means not have actual sex, no it is all encompassing of sexual things. It includes sexting, messing around, porn, and all types of sex.
Your sexuality and what you have to offer is completely unique to you, it is one of the only gifts that you can offer someone that they will not receive from anywhere else. Don’t let the pressure of this world tell you it’s not worthy to be protected. In today’s day and age you will encounter the pressure to engage.
My heart breaks, I love you sweet reader, I have felt the harsh consequence of this sin and am telling you from a heart that loves you, even though you might not get it now, WAIT. Waiting to be involved with sexual things is one of the BEST decisions you will ever make for yourself. If you have already been involved sexually, choose to stop. God loves you so much and His love heals. You can start rebuilding, it’s not too late. I know you may be confused and frustrated, you are worth so much, don’t believe the lie that you are tainted goods.
If you are confused, need help, need prayer, or direction. Please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.